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I have feelings for this guy and that's against our agreement

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  • I have feelings for this guy and that's against our agreement

    Okay, I've been sleeping with this guy for a few weeks now. We along very well. This was supposed to be a discrete affair, but I don't think it's like that anymore. He recently invited me to a party that most of his friends were at. I also told him to come to work one day to pick me up. So I think that discrete part is out of the way now Anyway, I've started having feelings for him. I mean I never intended for it to happen, but we are such a great match. When I look at it that way, it makes sense, because we like the same stuff and whenever we spend time together, we have a great time. I'm not just talking about the sex here. Something that started, because of sex has develped into something a lot more the way I feel it. Now the problem I'm facing is, we agreed to strictly stay away from something like this, so I don't know what he's going to do. Will he want to break up with me? I don't think I'll be able to hide my feelings for that long, so this matter will come up sooner than later :/ So I want to be prepared when it happens. If it's going to be a break up, I'd rather have it happen right now than later. That way, I'll have less to deal with. What do you guys think, should I risk everything and tell him what's going on?

  • #2
    If you're feelin somethin against what was agreed when you started the affair, you've got to tell him before you go any further. I mean if he's goin to break up with you, that's goin to happen tomorrow or in two weeks. I don't think you can change that. So your better off tellin him rather than lettin things go any further. Like you've mentioned in your comment, you'll have less to deal with if he breaks up with you right now rather than later. So find a good time n tell him that your developin feelings for him. If he's cool with it, you guys can think of a serious relationship. If not, it will be a break up, but you'll be able to get over him sooner.


    • #3
      There's no point hiding something like that from a guy. Just be honest and tell him. I think it's going to save you a lot of pain if you do it sooner than later. More you wait, harder you make it for the both of you. I don't think you want that to happen (y)


      • #4
        There's a good chance that the feelings are mutual. If you have agreed for a discrete relationship and if it's not discrete anymore, that means he doesn't care about those terms. That's how I see it. So you can buy a bit more time. Have some more good times with him and see where it goes. During that time, he might have more feelings towards you too. That way, I think breaking up will be tough for him as well. If you tell him now, it will be easier for him to break up with you too. If I were you, I would stay put and let things carry on for a few more weeks.


        • #5
          bailey-colorado I think she will be risking a lot of pain if she does that. I don't think it's worth it unless Fiona1993 thinks otherwise. If you're willing to go through that pain, then yes, go ahead and take that risk. If you stay together for a few more weeks, the feelings are going to go deeper for sure. A break up will be tough for both parties. Then again, we are assuming that he has feelings for you which may or may not be right. So you're taking a huge risk there too. Honestly, I'd just tell him everything right now if I were you. If the feelings are mutual, there's no need to break up at all.


          • #6
            This discussion was really helpful guys. I think I'm going to give this a good thought and take a decision. Each move has its pros and cons so it's going to be a tough choice. Either way, I'm going to decide today itself and see where I stand. I really appreciate your help!