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What To Do When You've Been Catfished

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  • What To Do When You've Been Catfished

    I recently went through a situation online where I was catfished. We didn't live in the same town, so I was okay with us sticking to talking social media contact, and eventually, texting. After a couple of months had gone by, I was starting to get a little bit suspicious because there didn't seem to be any desire at all on his part for us to meet. I thought that seemed really strange, and I was starting to have some questions. I ended up asking him if he would be willing to talk on the phone, and at first he seemed really into it, but the next thing I knew, he always had excuses for why he couldn't talk on the phone. Appointments, work meetings, working late, you name it. Finally I told him that I was going to need to have some sort of contact aside from social media and texting, if I was going to continue speaking with him. He made a plan to talk with me again, and after that I never heard from him again. I was heartbroken. The time we had spent talking over the couple of months that we were in contact for was really meaningful to me, and although it obviously wasn't meaningful to him, I can't help but ask myself how anyone can fake that. More importantly, why would anyone fake that? It's been a really hard little while and I've definitely learned a very valuable lesson. It doesn't make the situation any less hurtful, though. Has anyone elst been throught this? What did you do to deal with it, and move past the situation? Do you have any advice for someone who is still recovering from being catfished?

  • #2
    I'm so sorry to hear this and I know that this definitel does happen to a lot of people because it's also happened to me. The guy I was talking to was overseas though, so that made it even more difficult for us to try and have more personal communication, due to the time difference and the distance in general, as well as the extra expenses associated with texting back and forth with someone overseas. I had had a good friend who met someone on social media from overseas and they ended up getting married. She now lives with him in Ireland, and they're actually planning a move back here in the next year or so. I was feeling really hopeful because of this, and maybe that was a big par of the reason why we ended up talking for a lot longer than we should have. Before long though, I finally realized that I had been catfished badly. About 6 months had gone by, and we were touching on the idea of actually getting together and meeting. It had started to come up here and there, and finally we were actually talking about it. One day, I surprised him by saying that I had got some time off of work where I would be able to come out and see him, and spend a couple of weeks. I expected him to be so excited, but instead he started to get really distant, and pull away. I heard from him very seldom over the next couple of days, and then I never heard from him again at all. I don't know if he actually deleted all of his social media accounts or if he blocked me from them, or whatever the case was. The truth is that I was too stunned to really bother checking. I couldn't believe that anyone would go through this kind of trouble just to lie to someone and ultimately break their heart. I still can't believe it. It's only been a few months for me, so it still hurts really badly but I'm working on getting past everything, making MUCH better choices as I go forward, and whenever I see a story like yours, I make a point of reaching out so that you know you are not alone. This is one of the worst experiences, and you feel like you've wasted so much time. It will start to get easier though, and before you know it, each day will get better and better. The good news is that it's not likely to ever happen again, and that's something that you can take with you in life as you move forward. Being catfished is a truly sick feeling. It makes you question yourself a lot. There's really no need though. You opened yourself up and chose to give someone some trust. If you hadn't, you'd probably be asking yourself 'what if?'. So look at it that way. At least you know now, and you also know that you won't make the same mistake again. I wish you luck. You will get through this.

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    • #3
      Wow. I heard about this happening to people, and it even happened to a good friend of mine. I remember wondering how on earth anyone could let this happen to them, until it actually ended up happening to me. It's a really good thing that you are sharing your story, because you will probably help a lot of other people avoid running into the same situation. I'm really sorry to hear that this has happened to you. After my friend told me what happened to her, I had someone attempt to try it on me, and I realized the signs before it got too far. I asked the questions that needed to be asked within one week, and he disappeared. I also realized just how easy it can be to end up in a situation like that. If I hadn't heard someone else's story, and asked the questions I needed to when I did, I would probably be sharing a much different story right now. As for getting over it, my friend had this happen to her a couple of years ago now. Since then, she met a really great guy. They've been together for over a year and they just got engaged recently. I know you probably feel terrible right now. My friend did as well. You will get past this though, just like she did, and you'll meet someone that will change your mind about love again. Go through the motions for now, and be strong. This will pass, and you'll never make the same mistake again.

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      • #4
        believe it or not this can happen to guys as well. i might be the only guy on here with a catfising story that I'm willing to share but its worth knowing the this happens to men and women. mines pretty basic. i met a really cool girl online. she was really beautiful and she seemed to have everything going for her. i ended up falling for her pretty hard. the major difference was that we actually spent time talking on the phone as well. we talked on the phone at least a few nights a week for a couple of months so i didnt really feel like i had a whole lot to be suspicious of. when she disappeared later on i ended up finding her facebook profile after a lot of searching and i realized that she is married and has a family. her husband must be gone a lot because she seemed to have a lot of time to talk on the phone. i guess some people do this because they are lonely. i dont know. i cant really say that i understand it whatever the reasons are because someone ends up getting really hurt. maybe some people feel a lot lest guilt about doing some of these things behind the safety of social media. its not as personal for them. its always personal for the person whos being lied to though. im find now. i have an awesome gf. i have to admit though that it took me a really long time to trust her because of what i went through. its not easy but just know that youll get past it and youll eventually find someone else that you can move on and be happy with. there are still a lot of good people out there.

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        • #5
          Wow. I had no idea that this happened to so many people. Thanks so much for coming on and sharing your stories. I really appreciate it. I'm not glad that this has happened to alyone else, but at the same time, it does feel good to know that I'm not the only one who has had this happen to them. I felt like such an idiot and no I feel like I just trusted too hard, and there's nothing wrong with that...as long as you're trusting the right person. Thanks again. I'm really looking forward to getting past this.

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