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How Do You Deal With Being Ghosted?

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  • How Do You Deal With Being Ghosted?

    I was seeing a guy for about 6 months and I thought things were going really well. We were taking things slowly, and it was pretty amazing. One day I woke up, and for the first time in 6 months, I didn't have a message from him in the am. At first I was worried and I thought that maybe something had happened to him. Then I looked on Messenger, and I could see that he had been on one minute ago. Not long after that, I was blocked from all of his social media and he wouldn't return any of my texts. We had left everything on a good note, and I have no idea why he just disappeared. I'm spinning right now, and I have no idea what to do. Why would anyone do something like this to someone else? What is the point of hurting someone like this? Why invest 6 months and then disappear? I just don't understand. I know I'm not the only one who has gone through this, and I guess I'm just hoping that someone out there might be able to give me some tips on how to deal with this. It's been weeks now, and every morning I still feel like I'm waking up from a nightmare. I thought that this was something that millenials did to each other when they got bored, not something that happens to grown people in their 30's. I don't want to feel like this anymore. If anyone out there has any advice, I would love to hear it. Please help!!

  • #2
    Unfortunately, being ghosted isn't just something that is reserved for millenials who have a short attention span. This is actually something that happens to people of all ages, all the time. You'd be surprised how many that you probably know who this has happened to. It's so humiliating though, that not a lot of people want to talk much about it, and understandably so. It's truly embarrassing. I'm really sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I know that feeling you get when you wake up in the morning and it feels like you just had a nightmare, until you realize that it's actually your reality. It's the most terrible feeling. I wish I could tell you that it will get easier soon, but it won't. Once you finally come to terms with what's happened, you'll then have to come to terms with that fact that it's basically impossible to trust anyone again. It's amazing how one person's foolish behavior and choice can have such a devastating effect on another. The good news is, at some point, you will start to feel better and you'll be much wiser for the experience. You will eventually start to feel like you can trust again, and a part of you will even start to feel like this person did you a favor by disappearing. It's hard to imagine that now, but you will feel much better in time, and you will definitely be stronger. The truth is though, that it won't be easy, and it's going to take some time to heal and get past it. Take the time though, because it's very much worth it once you come out the other side. You got this.

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    • #3
      I have definitely been there before and I absolutely feel for you. Sandi_in_the_sand is right. You've got a tough road ahead but you'll get through it and you'll come out on the other side - wiser, and ready to give love another chance. I know I felt all of the same things too, when it happened to me. I wish I would have thought to post on a forum like this one, but it didn't even occur to me. I'm glad you reached out though because it's definitely nice to know that you're not alone, and to let other people share their advice and experiences. Getting ghosted is the worst. It seriously is. You're going to be okay, though.

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      • #4
        i think that there are few things in the world that suck more than getting ghosted does. it has happened to me more then once and it really does feel like its become an aceptable way to dump someone. i dont really kno what to say other then you will have to live through it and find a way to trust someone else. even if it happens again. what i do now is i just dont take anything at all serious when i start seeing someone. they will have to move at my pace if they want to be with me long term and if they dont want to do that then they can be with someone else. no one deserves your trust immediately and its silly to give it to them that quickly. thats the most importnt thing ive learned from my experiences. take your time. take your time getting ovet this and then take your time getting involved with someone again in the future. its worth taking your time. believe me when i tell you when this happens more then once you will never be in a rush to get in a relationship again.

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        • #5
          Being ghosted is right up there with being punched in the face. It's probably one of the worst feelings ever and I will never understand why anyone does this. At least send a one line text message or something before you disappear. I'm really sorry that your going through this and I mean it when I say that I totally understand. This is absolutely the worst feeling. I know that feeling of waking up and wondering if your in a bad dream, until you realize that it really has happened. Having a great day with your friends or family, and then they pop into your mind and it feels like a kick in the gut. I understand all of these feelings and I know that they are the absolute worst. I don't wish them on anyone. You'll get through this though and it will pass. Before you know it it gets easier and your smiling again. They will pop up in your mind and it won't hurt as much. You will hear their name and you won't think of them, or it won't sting as much. You'll run into them and it won't bother you. You won't search them on social media and you really won't care what they are doing in their life. It's not going to happen overnight and it may not even happen anytime soon, but it will definitely happen and when it does, like other people on this thread have said you will be stronger for it and much less likely to rush into anything. So reallly there is a silver lining if you want to see past the pain of the experience. It will get better. Take your time.

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          • #6
            I wish I could say that I don't know many people that this has happened to, and even when it happens to millenials it really hurts. You would think that having a million ways to reach someone would make it impossible for them to do something like this to you, but amazingly it's pretty easy for them to disappear completely. Once they block you they can change their name on social media so you can't look them up. They can close down old accounts and open new ones. Maybe they were talking to you on an account that they don't really use anyway. You just never know. Dating and love have always been difficult to do. Trusting has always been really hard. The crazy thing now is that it's getting even harder. It's hard enough to trust again after a bad breakup, cheating, falling out of love, whatever. Something like this really reminds you that you never really know someone though. It's a truly painful reminder of that fact actually. Like a lot of people have pointed out here though, it really does make you a lot stronger though. It's hard to get through at first but you'll make better choices in the future for sure. Don't ever be in a rush again and remember that if something seems to good to be true, then it probably is.

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